When it comes to healing after the death of someone loved, our culture has it all wrong. We’re told to be strong when what we really need is to be vulnerable. We’re told to think positive when what we really need is to experience the pain of the loss. And we’re told to seek closure when what we really need is to welcome our natural and necessary grief. The paradoxes of mourning are three Truths that grieving people used to respect but in the last century seem to have forgottten. In fact, our thinking about loss has gotten so mixed up that the Truths can now seem backwards, or paradoxical. Yet the paradoxes are indeed true, and only by giving yourself over to their wisdom can you find your way. 1. You must say hello before you can say goodbye. 2. You must make friends with the darkness before you can enter the light. 3. You must go backward before you can go forward.