The book To Serve the Living isn’t about embalming techniques, merchandise selection, or operational efficiency. Instead, it’s a book about why funeral service matters, who it has served historically, and how funeral directors - particularly African American funeral directors - have shaped communities far beyond the walls of the funeral home. In the United States, I strongly believe every funeral professional should take a deep dive into this book and its abundance of resource notes. 

Being a better funeral director means understanding history, culture, and the deeper impact of our choices and the work we do every day.

This is the book that reminds us that funeral service is not neutral. It never has been. It exists within culture, history, race, religion, economics, and power, and pretending otherwise does a disservice to the families we serve.

Smith illustrates how historically African American funeral directors did not simply enter a profession; they built it in response to exclusion, segregation, and systemic disrespect. When Black families were denied dignity in death, turned away from white funeral homes, or treated as second-class clients, African American funeral directors created spaces where respect, ritual, and humanity were guaranteed. In doing so, they also created space for economic flourishment, professional leadership, and generational stability within their community.

That legacy carries weight. One that deserves attention.

Dignity Is Not a Detail, It’s the Point
Smith repeatedly returns to the idea of dignity: dignity in preparation, dignity in presentation, dignity in ritual, dignity in memory. Historically, African American funeral directors understood that caring for the deceased was inseparable from caring for the living family, and from asserting the value of Black lives in a society that often denied that value.

That perspective should force us to pause and reflect:
How often do we think of dignity as something assumed instead of something intentionally protected? How often do we rush decisions because we’re busy, understaffed, or operating on autopilot?

Every choice we make communicates value. The way a body is prepared. The way a family is spoken to. The flexibility we allow. The patience we show. The attention we give to details others may never notice. Professional excellence in funeral service is not just about doing more, it’s about being more intentional. And the funeral professionals highlighted in this book understood that dignity was not a cosmetic detail added at the end, it was the foundation of the entire service.

Cultural Competence Is Not Optional, It’s a Professional Responsibility
One of the most practical lessons from To Serve the Living is that cultural competence is a professional responsibility, not an added bonus or marketing strategy. African American funeral traditions developed in response to very specific historical realities, spiritual beliefs, and communal needs. When we fail to understand that, we risk unintentionally dismissing or minimizing what matters most to families. 

The book also reminds us of death care traditions deeply rooted in African history. For example, long before modern American embalming practices, the Ga of West Africa practiced preservation their dead for practical purposes similar to how we do today. That historical continuity challenges the assumption that professional funeral service developed in isolation from African and other worldly cultural knowledge – it was not just a byproduct of the Civil War. 

If anything, this book gives context. And when we understand context, it makes us more effective. Cultural awareness is not about memorizing rituals, it’s about approaching each family with humility and respect. It’s about asking thoughtful questions and truly listening to the answers and needs of those in our care.

The Funeral as Public Memory
Smith also explores how funerals function as moments of public memory, especially within African American communities. She discusses how funerals, particularly high-profile ones, became spaces where grief, resistance, and collective identity converged. Even outside of national moments, everyday funerals serve this same purpose on a local scale. They are often the last public statement a family gets to make about a person’s life. And as funeral directors, we are helping shape that statement. We coordinate logistics, yes. But we also influence how a life is presented, remembered, and honored. 

The environment we create, the order of service, the visual presentation, the flow of the day all contributes to how that memory is carried forward by those left grieving. Understanding the funeral as an act of public memory changes how we approach our role. It elevates the work beyond task completion and into legacy stewardship.

The Funeral Director as a Community Leader
A critical point throughout this book was how Smith illustrates the role of African American funeral directors as community leaders, not just business owners. Historically, these funeral directors were often among the most respected figures in their neighborhoods as they were employers, organizers, advisors, and advocates. Their funeral homes were gathering spaces. Their voices helped shape their communities. 

As a funeral director, this made me reflect and ask myself: Do I see my role as transactional, or relational? Or somewhere in between?

It reminded me that families often see us as more than coordinators of logistics. In moments of loss, we may be one of the few steady, confident presences they encounter. This book reinforces that trust is not built in a single arrangement conference, but that it’s built over time, through consistency, listening, and genuine care.

The funeral directors illustrated in this book weren’t just serving one family in isolation; they were serving communities across generations. Their work shaped expectations of dignity, professionalism, and advocacy that extended far beyond a single service. That perspective feels especially relevant now, as all of funeral service navigates change, consolidation, and evolving consumer expectations. It challenges us to reflect on legacy, not just of the business, but the impact of our presence as a profession.

What kind of funeral director do families remember?
What kind of experience do loved ones carry with them after a service?
What impressions of death and funeral service are we leaving behind?

Whether or not we intend to, we are shaping future expectations of what funeral service should be and every interaction contributes to that perception.

It’s about presence.
It’s about respect.
It’s about understanding that when families walk through our doors, they are trusting us with something sacred.

The African American funeral directors profiled in this book understood this deeply, often under circumstances far more challenging than those many of us face today. Their legacy challenges all of us in the profession to rise to the responsibility we carry.

Our Professional Legacy
To Serve the Living is not simply a historical study, but a professional mirror that every funeral practitioner should read. It invites us to evaluate how we serve, why we serve, and who benefits from the way we practice. 

For those committed to becoming better funeral professionals, this book provides a framework rooted in dignity, cultural awareness, community leadership, and long-term perspective. It challenges us to slow down, listen well, honor history, and view funeral service not merely as a profession, but as lasting care for the living. If excellence in our field means serving families with empathy and intention, this book belongs in that education.

Because in the end, we don’t just serve the dead.
We serve the living, and that work deserves our very best.